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28 January 2006 @ 02:55 pm
Workman's Comp in 12 Easy Steps... Library Edition!  
This is the Workman's Comp in 12 Easy Steps... Library Edition!

Step 1: If you don't have one already, get a job in a library.

Step 2: At your (new) library job, injure yourself in a stupid way, say, by falling out of your shoe.

Step 3: Fill out a workman's comp form.

Step 4: Find where they keep the workman's comp forms, then complete Step Three.

Step 5: See a physician.

Step 6: Discover your regular doctor is unavailable because you put off the dreaded appointment until the weekend, when the only legitimate health professionals open are the emergency room and the walk-in "doc-in-the-box."

Step 7: Complete Step Five by going to the damn doc-in-the-box.

Step 8: But first, shave your legs for once, you slob.

Step 9: Try not to catch SARS or the bird flu while waiting your turn behind the Phlegmy Bohemian Youth and the Harried Mother With A Billion Snot-Nosed Kids.

Step 10: Get chewed out by a "doctor" with unprofessionally casual wear, heavy accent and open contempt for American youth. See the errors of your ways in having stuck it out at work and postponed medical attention as well as having ever picked out, bought or worn shoes that are so easy to fall out of. Leave feeling less of a person in general.

Step 11: (Almost there!) Get saddled--I mean fitted with an ankle brace to be worn constantly for the next week. "Forget" to ask whether or not it must be worn even to bed. (What you don't know you're not responsible for.)

Step 12: Hobble around work for the next week, fishing for sympathy, which you garner in truckloads. (It's the comp time that doesn't appear forthcoming.) Try not to think about going back to the grumpy foreign doc-in-the-box at the end of the week.

You did it! Now don't do it again.

Feeling: optimisticoptimistic
Listening to: Everything Burns - Ben Moody, featuring Anastacia
(Anonymous) on March 20th, 2006 02:26 am (UTC)
I know your pain
Better yet, have to file a workman's comp claim due to a shelving mishap and be laughed at by all your coworkers.

Hope your foot's okay,

The Vampire Librarian
laughing_sphinxlaughing_sphinx on March 21st, 2006 03:39 pm (UTC)
Re: I know your pain
True, at least I wasn't attacked by a book cart! ;) Who knew working in a library was such a hazardous occupation!

(Foot's all better, thanks, Vampire Librarian!)